Wreck
by MaddieNicole
Summary: After a close call, Aaron is forced to reevaluate his feelings. JJ/Hotch. Excerpt: Rain. SUV. Driving the SUV in the rain. With JJ.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: A new story! (These are always fun!) While I am not ready to take on another long story when I have Jake's Series to complete, this was only meant to be a quicky like The Name Game. However, after writing little by little, this has grown into something fairly bigger than anticipated. I've decided (for now) that this will be posted in two parts. And, as always, reviews are VERY MUCH appreciated and respected. Thanks!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Criminal Minds.

Wreck – Part One

Hotch heard raindrops on the pavement. Thousands upon thousands of drops hit the ground in sheets and created an unwavering hiss. The sound was constant and unforgiving, assaulting his ears as efficiently as nails being dragged down a chalkboard. He winced at the noise that slowly lured him back into consciousness.

He opened his eyes and gasped, unprepared for the brightness that met them. Hotch immediately shut them closed again to try and regain his bearings. He needed to adjust to the sound of the raindrops on the windshield before he could tackle the light.

_Windshield!_

Hotch felt himself frown as his memory slowly reclaimed him.

_Rain. SUV. Driving the SUV in the rain. _

Slowly, he reopened his eyes. Pain throbbed in his head in rhythm to the blinking lights on the SUV's dashboard. He went to bring his left arm to his temple but it was broken and unmoving.

He gingerly turned his head towards the driver's side window in an effort to take in his surroundings. His gaze was met with a grassy slope caked with mud and rocks. His eyes traveled upwards, expecting to see a road, but his view was blocked by the car frame's twisted metal. Hotch allowed himself to fall back into his seat, breathing deeply from his exertion.

It was obvious to him that he was in a car wreck but now he needed to remember it.

Suddenly a soft moan sounded to his right which made Hotch's breath hitch.

_Rain. SUV. Driving the SUV in the rain. With JJ. _

The revelation hit Hotch like a punch to his stomach. Dread washed over him as he attempted to turn towards the passenger's side of the crashed vehicle. He tried to move to his right but the seatbelt had jammed, keeping him strapped tightly to his seat which left his view obstructed.

Frustration began to bubble up in his chest.

"JJ?" he whispered.

He reached with his right arm over to unbuckle his seatbelt. Unexpected, hot pain ricocheted up and down left side and made him groan out. Forcing himself to stay focused, his fingers finally reached the buckle's release but it was stuck.

"Dammit!" he growled out. His energy spent, Hotch once again collapsed back into his seat, panting.

"Aa-Aaron?"

At her voice Hotch found and latched onto a much needed adrenaline rush.

"Hang on, JJ," he said a little louder. Hotch bit his tongue to prevent another groan that threatened to escape him. He squeezed his eyes shut and fought with the seatbelt release but it remained unyielding to his frantic pushes.

Anger now fueled the unit chief. He needed to get to JJ.

He strained against the safety belt pinning him with newfound determination. Hotch eventually found a small tear in the belt so he grabbed and yanked on it. The hot pain continued to shoot along his side but he ignored it, remaining solely focused on getting free and getting to JJ.

The seatbelt suddenly snapped back, signaling his freedom. He began to feel lightheaded from the effort he'd just used but Aaron forced himself to focus on the woman next to him.

Finally able to see her, he wished he had prepared himself. A tree branch penetrated the windshield and laid on the armrest in between them. At impact the branch had clipped JJ's abdomen and tore up her left side. Hotch closed his eyes, unable to keep looking at her injury.

"Aaron?"

Hotch came to attention at JJ's scared plea. Her shaking hands were held out in front of her and were covered in blood. Her blood.

"Yes, JJ. I'm here."

Aaron reached his right arm over to her, his pain forgotten, and rested it on her neck just under her ear. He lightly caressed her cheek with his thumb to reassure her of his presence. However, her eyes wouldn't leave her bloodied hands.

"It's okay. It's okay, JJ. I'm calling for help," Hotch assured her. He frantically looked for one of their radios but the interior of the SUV was in disarray. Glass from the shattered side windows littered every surface and deflated airbags hung or laid on parts of the broken interior.

Looking around, Hotch saw nothing that would help him contact the team, or anyone else for that matter. He subconsciously moved his thumb across JJ's cheek again, comforting both them.

_There had to be something! _

Suddenly he stopped in realization. "Earpiece." Hotch whispered to himself_._

Just as he reached for it, he heard the static the device was emitting into his ear. The sound eerily matched that of the rain still pounding on the windshield and pavement around them. Hotch angrily pulled the apparatus from his ear and searched desperately for something—anything—that would help him and JJ out of their situation.

He glanced over to the distressed blonde next to him and saw that her shaking had become worse. She was taking rapid, deep breaths and her eyes remained unfocused. It was clear to Aaron she was going into shock.

He placed his hand on her knee. "JJ I'm here. Hang on."

Hotch rested against his seat one last time in an effort to get every ounce of energy left in him. He mentally prepared himself for what he needed to do next for he knew it would be painful. With swift caution, Aaron lifted his left arm with his right hand, nearly screaming in pain, and placed it across his stomach.

Once he was confident his arm wouldn't slip, he moved closer to JJ. Hotch lifted his right hand and strung his fingers through her hair, moving it behind her ear.

"JJ? JJ look at me. Come on JJ," Hotch softly said. Finally she moved her teary eyes to his. Aaron nodded when he had her attention. "That's it. Good. You need to calm down, JJ, can you do that? You're going to be fine, just focus on me. I need you to stay focused, JJ." He looked into her eyes and begged her to listen to him. Eventually her body relaxed a little and she became calmer. Hotch tilted her head towards him and held her eyes with his.

"We were in a wreck. We're in a bank off the road," he explained to her.

JJ's face melted into one of fear. Panic began to set in and she began to lose control of her breathing again.

"JJ, you need to take deep breaths. Come on. Deep breaths." Hotch rubbed his thumb against her cheek once again in order to make sure he still held her attention.

Once he saw she was doing as he said, he dropped his head to hide his grimace of pain. He was determined to cover his discomfort from JJ so she wouldn't become more upset.

He debated on what to do as the reality of the situation sank in.

_No one knew where they were. _

"Garcia."

Aaron lifted his head to her, puzzled.

"On phone with…with Garcia," she told him.

_Rain. SUV. Driving the SUV in the rain. Talking on the hands-free with Garcia._

He smiled at JJ in relief. "You're right, JJ. Garcia will send help. So you stay with me JJ, okay?"

At her pained look he felt helpless and hated it. He wanted to take all JJ's hurt and fear from her and make it his own burden; like the pavement took the pounding rain.

"JJ, you were hurt. I have to look at the wound." He left a comforting hand on JJ and looked at her injury more closely. He willed himself to remain calm and controlled as he saw the severity of the wound.

Aaron hadn't prayed in a while, but he hoped to God help would arrive soon.

"JJ I need you to think about Henry. Think about him, okay? I need to put pressure on it," he warned her. JJ pursed her lips and quickly nodded her assent. "Okay," Aaron muttered. He wished he could leave a comforting hand on her shoulder and cursed the uselessness of his left arm. In a swift motion he placed his fingers over the gash in her side. At JJ's moan he winced. "I'm sorry. I have to do this."

"I'm scared, Aaron," JJ whispered. Her voice was so soft, Hotch was surprised he was able to hear her over the rain.

"I know. I know but you're doing great." He inched as close to her as he could, awkwardly positioning himself over the tree branch lying in the middle of the SUV.

"You're here," she said. She had the left side of her head against her headrest and was staring directly into his eyes.

"I am," he answered her. "So stay with me."

JJ fought to keep her heavy eyelids open and gave him a light smile. "I will."

"Good. So keep your eyes open," Hotch said. His voice cracked and he was thankful for the loud rain that masked it. "That's it. Tell me about Henry, JJ." He was desperate to keep her talking for both of their sakes. The pain radiating up and down his body was unbearable and threatened to knock him out.

"He…he wants to invite you and Jack to his birthday party," she told him.

"Yeah? Well Jack and I will be there and you can tell him so," Aaron assured her. He glanced down at the blood he could feel seeping through his fingers.

_He was afraid._

"What does he want for his birthday, JJ?"

JJ squinted as she tried to remember. "I don't remember," she gasped. It scared her that she couldn't recall what her own son wanted for his birthday. Tears pooled in her eyes.

"I don't think any…anyone's coming to help," she forced out. Her face was in a constant grimace of pain.

Tears began to fall down her cheeks which Aaron desperately wanted to wipe away.

"Of course they are." He clung to the fact Garcia was talking to them when he lost control of the SUV and had known what to do.

"It's not fair," JJ insisted as she squeezed her eyes shut.

He shook his head. "No, no it isn't." Aaron looked at her and could feel his eyes welling up with his own tears. "I haven't even…" he let his sentence drift.

She wasn't going to die, she was a fighter. He'd be damned if he started to voice his regrets as if it was the end. He ducked his head closer to hers and gave her a fierce look. "God JJ, you need to stay strong, please don't give up. There's…" He took a deep breath to stave off his tears. "There's so much I'd change."

Her big, blue eyes studied him with newfound clarity. "Me too," she admitted softly. Neither of them broke eye contact until her eyelids forced themselves closed. Before Hotch could protest she opened them again. She moved her eyes over to his limp arm and back to him in question.

"It's fine," he disregarded.

"Hmm," she moaned. JJ had no energy to answer him. She shut her eyes again and Hotch felt her shallow breaths on his face grow fewer.

"NO!" he snapped. He pressed harder onto her wound and silently willed her to wake. He was met with a gasp from JJ and her eyes snapped open. Aaron almost succumbed to his desire and reached for her hair, her face, her shoulder. Instead, he kept pressure on the hole in her side. "Think of Henry, JJ," he commanded her with a harsh voice.

At the name of her son a small spark ignited in her eyes.

"He's waiting for you at home. He needs you," Aaron reminded her. "We all need you. Even Jack needs his Aunt JJ."

For what felt like the hundredth time, Aaron desperately looked around in search for something that would help them but came up empty. Once again he turned his head back towards the driver's side window and craned his neck downwards to try and catch a glimpse of the road above. Again, he couldn't see it.

Aaron turned back to JJ and saw her eyes closing. "JJ!"

_He had to keep her alive. She needed to stay awake. He would do anything._

With renewed strength he lifted himself by his elbow, releasing some of the pressure on her wound, and hastily claimed her lips with his. There was nothing romantic about the kiss. Instead it was full of desperation and passion. Aaron imagined breathing strength into her as he conveyed as much affection into the kiss as he could. He kept her lips captive with his own until he felt her weakly move hers in response, though he could have easily imagined it.

Hope was powerful and it made people believe in almost anything.

Physically spent, Aaron collapsed backwards. "JJ, please," he begged as black spots began to cloud his vision.

When he received no response he allowed himself to weep, his cries muffled by the rain.

/XXX/

When Penelope Garcia wanted to do something, very few people could stop her. One exception was the boss-man, and he was in a hospital bed so she did what she damn well pleased without any restraints. The moment the authorities had told her they'd found Hotch and JJ she left her computer sanctuary in Quantico and booked it to the airport.

Approximately two hours later she was riding in a fed-issued SUV in southeastern Pennsylvania. The tech analyst anxiously picked at her nails as she watched the scenery flow by in a blur. All she knew from her texts with Morgan was that Hotch was stable and JJ was in surgery. She knew nothing more. And it was killing her.

Minutes later the SUV pulled up to the Smythe-Sinai hospital and she was out before it came to a complete stop. Her heels clicked and clacked as she ran all the way to the front desk where she flashed her rarely-used credentials.

"Aaron Hotchner and Jennifer Jareau?" she asked, trying to keep the frantic urgency out of her voice.

The receptionist looked from her ID back to Garcia uncertainly. "You're FBI?"

"Yes! And I need to know where agents Hotchner and Jareau are in this building, now!" Garcia's voice rose with every word.

"Penelope!"

Derek Morgan's voice caught her attention as he rushed up to her. He paused long enough to grab her hand and then to pull her in the direction where he'd come from.

"Derek? Is JJ—?" At her chocolate god's expression a new wave of worry consumed her.

He shook his head. "No word." They reached the elevators and he jammed the up button.

"But it's been almost two and a half hours!" Garcia protested. The tears that she'd managed to keep from falling in the car were now pouring down her face.

Morgan stilled and looked at his friend. He grabbed her into a hug as they waited for the elevator. "I know. I know." He rubbed her back and shushed her soothingly. "Come on, Baby Girl, you need to keep it together."

At his words Garcia pushed away from him. "No. No I don't! You have no idea what it was like to hear my beloved boss-man and best friend hit…something…with brakes squealing and bangs thudding and—"

"Okay, okay!" Morgan interrupted with raised hands. "Okay. I'm sorry, you're right, I don't know what it was like." Once he saw Penelope relax a little he grabbed her upper arms. He lowered his head so his face was level with hers. "Take a breath, let's go see the others, okay?"

Garcia, still getting over her brief loss of control nodded. "Yes. Yes let's do that."

The elevator doors opened and the two of them hurried inside where Derek pushed button 3. They waited in silence and watched the floor numbers ascend.

"Do they know what happened?"

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "They spun out. The rain was coming down harder than it is now. They found them both unconscious, but found them nonetheless, thanks to you, Baby Girl." Derek looked at her with admiration and sincerity but Garcia missed it, she was too preoccupied.

Morgan eyed her but didn't bother to continue his praises; he knew she wasn't hearing them. The car dinged and its doors opened. He escorted her to the right, down a pristine, brightly lit hallway. "Waiting room's just down here," he explained.

"Where's Hotch's room?" she asked.

Morgan shook his head. "Doesn't matter, he's not in it. He's in the waiting room with the rest of us. Wouldn't take no for an answer."

Garcia slowed, surprised at his words. "But…he's injured!"

Derek stopped and rested his hands on his hips. "Would you want to be anywhere else?"

She opened her mouth but nothing came out so she shut it again. "Come on," Derek said.

/XXX/

Emily stared straight ahead with one mission on her mind: not to cry. There was no sense in shedding tears since they didn't know anything yet. She ignored Garcia's random sniffles and Reid's fidgeting. She forced herself to be impassive and disconnected from the others in the room. Morgan's defeated posture and Rossi's tense shoulders drew no emotion from her since she was determined to remain in control.

She allowed herself to glance over to her unit chief and see how he was fairing with his injuries. The sight of his red rimmed eyes caused her breath to hitch in her throat. It was clear he'd been crying, perhaps before he'd joined them in the waiting room, which meant his stoic manner betrayed and deserted him. If Hotch's defenses failed him, hers were vulnerable to failing too. Afraid she'd lose her fight to remain indifferent, Emily quickly stood up.

"Reid," she said to the man seated next to her, "let's go get some coffee."

The young doctor looked at her with sad eyes and nodded.

The two of them walked out of the lounge and towards the elevators. Prentiss slowed as they approached and rubbed her sweaty palms on her slacks. "Let's uh, let's take the stairs," she suggested, eager to keep moving. Reid, seemingly in a daze, didn't protest and followed her to the stairwell further down the hall.

Once they were down in the cafeteria preparing their coffees, Reid finally spoke.

"Hotch is taking this hard."

Emily reached for a sugar packet and sighed. "Do you blame him? He was driving."

"Do you blame him?"

"No of course not," Emily said. "We're all taking this hard. It's JJ."

"I know. But Hotch seems…more distressed than the rest of us," Reid observed. He grabbed a stirrer so he could mix the creamer into his coffee.

Prentiss furrowed her eyebrows. "Well, he practically refused treatment so he could be in the waiting room the second there was news," Emily conceded. She tried not to think of their boss' tired eyes and his being dressed in hospital scrubs while waiting anxiously in the visitors' lounge.

Reid set his stirrer down on a napkin and rested his hand on the Formica countertop. "What do we do if she doesn't make it?"

Emily stared at the coffee she held in her hands and decided she didn't have an answer for him.

/XXX/

The BAU team had never known relief to feel so sweet.

Twenty minutes prior the doctor had informed them that while she lost a lot of blood, they were able to repair all the damage and promised JJ would make a full recovery. Smiles, tears and hugs had gone all around, everyone grateful for the positive diagnosis.

Hotch had been the first to stand and approach the doctor when the man first entered the visitors' lounge. He had stood before the man with his arms hung loosely at his sides, appearing utterly helpless. Aaron had silently pleaded with the doctor for good news with his bloodshot, desperate eyes. Finally, the doctor had offered him a reassuring smile and nod to which Aaron breathed out a deep sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Doctor," he'd said as he began to feel the prickling of fresh tears beneath his eyes. He had not wanted to show any further emotion to his team having had already broken down once. So, rather than join the hugs and exclamations of happiness, Hotch had drifted his way back to the chair he had stubbornly occupied for the prior three plus hours. He'd pinched his nose, closed his eyes and did his best to block out the chatter that had surrounded him.

_She was alive. She was alive._

Eighteen minutes later Aaron was still repeating the mantra in his head, trying to keep his emotional turmoil at bay. He felt numb from the effort as he stared into space, talking to no one. He had almost lost the most important woman in his life. Again.

At the label he'd just used for JJ, Aaron roughly dragged a hand through his hair. He really needed to get a grip. The two of them, along with the rest of the team, had faced many life threatening situations before with the unsubs they dealt with. A car accident should not be any different, so there was no reason to be so emotional.

"You haven't moved from this spot in a while."

Aaron shifted his gaze from the floor to Dave, who stood before him with his hands in his pockets. He decided not to answer and resumed to stare at the rundown carpet. There was a reason he was sitting in the empty waiting room alone; he needed to think.

Rossi sighed and took a seat next to his friend. "Don't you want to see her?" he asked gently.

The rest of the team had long since gone to visit JJ, Rossi included, even though she was still asleep. After a few minutes of seeing for himself JJ was okay, he'd realized their unit chief was missing. Worried, Dave had ventured back to the waiting room only to find his friend hunched over in a chair, deep in thought.

Hotch pursed his lips. "Of course," he quietly said.

The older man stared at him, which made Aaron raise his good hand to his forehead and begin to rub it self-consciously.

"So what's the problem?" Dave watched as Hotch lowered his hand and hesitate before speaking. Rather than explain, Aaron began to shut down and ignore Rossi's question. "Aaron?" Dave prodded him.

Hotch's fingers stilled and he dragged his hand over his face eventually settling it on his lap. "When we were in the car, after it wrecked, I said and did some things I shouldn't have," Aaron confessed.

Rossi narrowed his eyes in confusion. Something was eating at the injured man next to him and his cryptic answer was puzzling. "It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong to me. The medics said you played a key role in keeping her alive." Dave ceased talking when Aaron shook his head.

"No. No that's not what I mean." He cast a nervous glance in Dave's direction. "I got emotional and…implied some things. Things I've managed to keep hidden for a long time, I suppose. From both of us." Aaron's quiet tone was methodical and cautious. "Hell, I didn't even know i had them."

Dave stayed silent, sensing the younger man had more to say.

"I told her that she had to hang on because there was 'so much that I would change'." Hotch paused and winced when he thought of his next words. "And I…I kissed her, Dave," he said, turning to look at Rossi. Aaron found he couldn't meet his friend's eyes so he lowered them back to the floor at his feet. "I…I don't think she'll remember it but…I was so desperate to keep her with me."

Rossi absorbed what Aaron just told him. His words surprised him. He had no idea of his friend's feelings towards JJ but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He wasn't sure _why_ it made more sense, just that it simply did.

After a moment he nodded and clasped his hands in his lap. "And what's wrong with that, Aaron? Your desperation, as you call it, was something she held onto. It kept her with us."

Aaron tapped his right foot in thought, slowly growing more frustrated with himself. "What's wrong with it is that I made things complicated," Hotch stopped and considered his feelings as he thought about the kiss. "What's wrong with it is that I want to do it again," he mumbled. He carefully watched Rossi's reaction to his confession and wondered what the man, who had an answer for everything, would say.

"As you said yourself; maybe she won't remember any of it. You'll be in the clear."

Aaron was surprised at the twinge of disappointment he felt in his chest at Dave's words.

"Aaron, you broke your left arm, have a cut on your left leg and are covered in bruises."

Hotch raised his eyebrows and placed an indignant look on his face. "Superficial cut."

"Same difference," Rossi countered. "You strained muscles throughout your right side in order to help JJ in that mangled car, to the point where you passed out. I know you're in pain and exhausted yet you refused to stay in a room two floors up because you insisted on being here with us for when we got news of her condition."

"I'd do that for any of you, Dave."

"Is it really the same, Aaron?" he challenged.

Rossi was met with silence. After a beat Hotch sighed and looked back at him. "Your point?"

"It doesn't matter if you said too much or did too much. It doesn't matter if she doesn't remember and it doesn't matter that it is going to force you to reevaluate things with her; that's part of life. A life that she still has thanks to you. One that you can be a part of."

Hotch scoffed at his friend's implication. "You're getting ahead of yourself, Dave."

"Am I?"

Aaron studied him and thought about what Rossi just insinuated. Under other circumstances, he wouldn't allow himself to go down the road that Dave was paving for him, simply because it spelt disaster. However, Aaron still found that his emotions centered on a blonde who was recovering in a room down the hall, and not necessarily on proper protocol. His mind knew how he should be acting but his heart refused to listen.

"Go see her, Aaron. You can figure everything else later," Rossi encouraged.

Hotch considered his friend and debated on what to do. If he went to JJ's room, it would be against everything he practiced as the BAU's unit chief. When he entered that room, he'd no longer be able to keep _Aaron_ in check. Not when it came to JJ.

Seeing that Aaron was still struggling, Rossi tried a different approach.

"May I be bold?"

Hotch rolled his eyes. "When are you not?"

"Just because you're in love with JJ doesn't mean that you're a bad unit chief, or agent, or friend."

"Dave!"

"What?"

"That's absolutely…that's just…" Aaron drew a blank and he looked at his friend with big eyes. He opened his mouth to protest, but nothing came out, forcing him to close it. After a second Aaron cocked his head to the side.

"Huh," he murmured with a tone of surprise in his voice.

Aaron gave Dave an unsure gaze before he got up. He didn't know if his friend was correct in his assumption, Aaron was far too emotional to think straight, but maybe that was the point.

Rossi looked up at the younger man standing before him and smiled.

And before he could talk himself out of it, Aaron turned away from Dave and headed to JJ's room.

**To be continued…**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Okay, I lied. This story has a mind of its own! I can't tell you how many parts this will end up having but I do promise that Jake's Series will be finished first. I hope. Because I hate having the pressure of writing two multi chapter stories going at once! It is just too distracting!

Anyways, that's my rant but before you move onto the story, I'd like to give a shout out to **all** **my fantastic reviewers**. You each give me inspiration to stay calm and write! Thank you so much!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

Wreck – Part Two

Aaron sat in the chair Garcia had vacated a while ago next to JJ's bed. The others, once satisfied JJ was stable, left to grab something to eat. They offered to bring back food for Hotch but he'd declined. He had no appetite and simply wanted to be alone with JJ.

He watched her chest rise and fall with each breath she took. Every time she inhaled Hotch felt a feeling of relief in his chest. He remembered how panicked he was when she didn't respond to him in the car, even though he had passed out soon after. The brief seconds she was unresponsive to him had felt like hours. He continued to half study JJ and half recollect the accident and ultimately realize that he'd never been so happy to watch someone breathe.

Hotch's fingers twitched as he thought about holding her hand and eventually gave into the temptation. He placed his palm in hers and lightly closed his fingers around her fingers. And even though he knew she was going to be okay, Hotch still released a thankful sigh her hand was warm.

His eyes moved from their hands to JJ's face. It was no longer tense with pain and a faint rosiness had returned to her cheeks. He head was slightly turned towards him as if she sensed he was there, though Aaron knew better. He felt unorganized and couldn't see logic. In the back of his mind he knew he had a dilemma to fix but in the mean time, his ramped emotions overrode his rational thinking. It was simply impossible for him to compartmentalize anything that regarded JJ at that moment.

His thoughts drifted to the unexpected conversation he'd had with Dave which had revealed many things to him. The feelings the accident had generated and blindsided him meant something special and something he couldn't let go at that point in time.

He nervously licked his lips and began to talk to her.

"I'm glad you're okay, JJ," he whispered. He ran his thumb up and down her still fingers. "About what I said; I'm sorry for getting emotional, I shouldn't have." He stopped and chided himself. She wasn't awake and he needed to get things off his chest, even though it was a selfish, cowardly way to go about it.

_Maybe he should try being Aaron for now._

He inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Actually, after this day, after everything, I'm not sorry. In fact, the only thing I'm sorry for is not recognizing and saying something sooner about how much you mean to me." He stopped and let his words sink in, not so much for the woman sleeping on the bed but for himself. "I know this is out of nowhere. I know this is wrong. But I was so terrified, JJ, of losing you. Not for the sake of the team but for my own." Hotch fell into silence and the only sound in the room was the beeping of her monitor.

"I think that means something, don't you?" He squeezed her hand and wondered what her answer would be if she were awake. He dropped his head in shame for he knew it was most likely that he wouldn't say these things to her when she woke.

Sighing, Aaron leaned back in an effort to ease some of the pain that was still creeping its way up his side. He winced as he adjusted himself in the chair; he was not looking forward to his recovery process.

He pulled his hand from hers and scratched his head. He contemplated what would happen when JJ woke up and he found himself without an explanation to offer her.

_She may not remember._

_But he wanted her to._

_But it was better for her not to. Better for both of them._

"God help me," he muttered.

/XXX/

JJ heard a faint beeping amidst the darkness. The noise sounded like a homing signal to which her mind latched onto. Her ears perked up as the beeping grew more intrusive and made her subconsciously try to bury herself deeper into her pillow.

_Pillow? Where was she?_

JJ moved her hands and felt what she supposed was a warm, cotton blanket under them. One of her fingers had something clipped to it and she felt a plastic bracelet digging into her left wrist. She creased her eyebrows and felt her face scrunch up.

_Was she in a hospital?_

JJ opened her eyes only to immediately shut them again. The harsh light that had greeted her almost made her cry out. She tried again and slowly eased them open, mentally preparing herself for the brightness.

Her eyes were met with a sleeping Hotch in the chair next to her bed. He was dressed in hospital scrubs and was out cold. Beside him was a monitor which emitted the offensive beeping. She slowly moved her head and deduced she was in a private hospital room. Through the window she saw that the sun had yet to rise but she had no idea what time it was.

JJ heard a small grunt to her left and turned back to the man next to her. He was still asleep and his arm was in a sling. JJ blinked in confusion and willed her memory to come back.

A flash of lightening and a rumbling thunder distracted her concentration. She turned back towards the window and listened as rain began to fall harder outside. Its hiss began to out weigh the beeping of the monitor.

_Rain. SUV. Riding in the SUV in the rain. With Hotch._

JJ gasped and turned back to Aaron. Images flashed into her mind of a wrecked SUV in a bank off the road. Her eyes grew big at images of a cracked windshield and her bloodied hands. She couldn't make sense of it all because she didn't remember much else. Her short, fast breaths triggered a sharp pain in her side. JJ winced and felt tears begin to well up in her eyes. The machine beside Hotch began to beep faster.

"Oh!" JJ gasped.

The noise woke Aaron up from his sleep. At the sight of a struggling JJ he was at full attention. He had an alarmed expression on his face but before he could reach for her a nurse and doctor rushed into the room.

The nurse rushed to JJ's side and placed her face in front of the blonde agent. "Jennifer? Jennifer I need you to calm down. You were injured in an accident and you're irritating your sutures." The nurse, Julia, according to her nametag, gently grasped JJ's shoulder. Seeing her actions had no affect on JJ, she turned to the doctor. "Doctor, I'm not getting through to her."

Aaron looked to the other man in the room and saw a syringe in his hands. He narrowed his eyes as he thought about what the doctor was about to administer to JJ. A light cry sounded from the bed and he glanced back at JJ, worry etched in his face.

"I'm going to administer a mild sedative," the doctor said. He held a needle up in front of him and pushed down on the syringe to test it.

Feeling a surge of protectiveness, Aaron spoke up. "Is that necessary?" Without waiting for a response Hotch leaned closer to JJ and grabbed her arm. "JJ, it's Aaron. Look at me," he said to her in a soft, but commanding, voice. He forced her fist open and entwined their fingers. "Come on, JJ."

"It's for the best. It is a very mild dose, I promise," the doctor explained.

Aaron let out a sigh and gave the doctor a curt nod, letting him know he understood. "JJ?"

Finally, JJ responded and moved her frightened face to meet his eyes. Aaron squeezed her hand and kept talking to her. "You're okay. You're safe."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the doctor move closer and prepare to give JJ the shot. In an attempt to distract her, Hotch offered JJ a small smile and rubbed her knuckles with his thumb.

Captivated by his hazel eyes and overwhelmed with the pain in her side, JJ didn't even register the needle going into her arm. "I'm okay?" she whispered.

"Yes," Aaron smiled. "Yes you're going to be fine. You just need to relax, okay?" His face was close to hers and he could feel her breaths become more even and steady against his face.

Seeing an improvement, Julia offered some encouraging words. "There, there, Jennifer. You're gonna be just fine," Julia said. "Just keep breathing in and out." She patted JJ's shoulder and began to check the rest of her vitals.

"Jennifer? I am Doctor Zelner, the attending physician on your case." The doctor moved to stand at the foot of her bed and quickly glanced through her chart.

Aaron shared her gaze for a few more seconds before looking at the doctor, waiting for an update. JJ copied him and shifted her eyes to Zelner.

Once he saw he had her attention, the doctor continued. "You were in a car accident and needed to undergo surgery. You're going to be fine but you'll need to stay here for a little while. Are you in any pain?"

"Yes," JJ croaked out. "In my side."

Aaron looked at her and back at the doctor. "Can you give her something?"

"Yes, I can," he nodded and turned to the nurse. "Julia, 300 milligrams of morphine to start." At the nurse's nod he continued. "You're going to become sleepy once you receive the drug so I will come back later on in the morning. Do you remember anything that happened?"

JJ silently shook her head as Julia left the room to get her medicine. Yes, she remembered a few things, but there were so many holes in her memory that she couldn't make anything sensible out of it.

"Well it will most likely come back to you later on. Most patients tend to have a groggy memory when they wake up after surgery."

At Dr. Zelner's words Aaron pursed his lips and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Do you have any questions for me?"

"Can I have some water?" JJ rasped out.

"Yes. Julia will come back with some for you, she's pretty good about that."

"Thank you," JJ whispered. Her throat was dry and left her uncomfortable.

"You're welcome. I'll come check up on you later. In the mean time I suggest you get some rest." With that he walked out of the room just as Julia reentered.

"Okay Hun, I have your morphine and brought you some water," Julia announced. She rounded JJ's bed and offered her a small Styrofoam cup. "Here you go, dear. Small sips, okay?" JJ reluctantly released Aaron's grip and gingerly took the cup from Julia with both of her hands.

Aaron's eyes didn't move from JJ. He was anxious and simply wanted to watch her. The three of them remained silent while JJ sipped her water and Julia injected the morphine into JJ's IV.

When the nurse was finished, she discarded the empty syringe and gave JJ a smile. "You should be feeling better in a few minutes." She paused and looked at Hotch. "Be sure she gets some rest," she ordered him. At Hotch's affirmative nod, she left the room.

After a few more sips, JJ lowered the cup and looked for a place to set it down.

"Here," Aaron said. He took the water from her hands and got up to place it on the table near her bed. He looked down at JJ and offered her a tight smile. "Hang on." He went to the light switches and flicked a few of them downwards, turning the overhead lights off. A soft glow from a small overhead lamp above JJ's bed was the only light that remained on. Hotch walked back to his chair and sat, leaning back.

"Get some rest, JJ," he said.

"Not yet," she told him. Catching another glimpse of his sling she frowned. "Are you okay?"

Hotch followed her gaze to his arm and nodded. "I'm fine, JJ. Just a broken arm, nothing serious."

JJ looked at him with uncertainty but didn't push the matter. "Where is everyone?"

"They went to grab a bite to eat and then went back to the station to wrap things up. Morgan and Prentiss apprehended the unsub while we…" Aaron allowed his statement to drift, unable to complete it.

"What happened, Aaron?" JJ whispered. She noticed his demeanor was tense which made her worry about him. She wanted details on what happened since she had yet to piece things together herself.

Aaron averted his gaze and focused on JJ's admittance bracelet. "Do you…what do you remember?"

At his question JJ furrowed her eyebrows. "Not much. My memory is still fuzzy." She clenched her jaw together in frustration. She knew Hotch was holding back and she had a feeling it was important. "Tell me?"

Aaron sighed at the tone of her voice. He raised his hand to rub his forehead as he thought about what to do. After a minute or so, JJ's expression made him cave. He leaned towards her and began to reach for her hand but stopped halfway, unsure if he should.

Seeing his hesitation, JJ grabbed his hand with hers and pulled it down to rest on her bed.

"We were driving in a downpour to check out a location. I lost control of the SUV and we spun out, landing in a bank off the road." Hotch stopped to allow his simmering emotions calm down.

When he was getting his arm wrapped, a police officer told the team that the car rolled once and that it was amazing their injuries weren't more severe. When he had heard the news, Hotch thanked the Bureau for providing such sturdy vehicles. Deciding to skip telling JJ the details of the spin out, Aaron continued.

"The SUV was in bad shape and a tree branch…" Aaron took a deep breath at the memory. "A tree branch went through the windshield and hit you." He watched JJ's face as he spoke the words, but she remained impassive. She patiently waited for the rest of the story, but Aaron found he couldn't finish it just then.

He lowered his forehead on top of their joined hands and inhaled a shaky breath. He felt the sting of tears in his eyes but squeezed them shut, determined not to break down in front of her. Once he regained control, he raised his eyes back to JJ's.

She had a confused look about her and he wondered what she was thinking of his behavior. He'd tried so hard to be his usual stoic self but when JJ had woken he knew he couldn't do it. "You scared me, JJ," he whispered.

Tears pooled in her eyes and she squeezed Aaron's hand as hard as she could. "I'm sorry."

Hotch shook his head. "Don't be. It was my fault."

"That's not true. It was an accident," she insisted. She felt her eyelids grow heavy but she needed to make sure Aaron didn't blame himself.

With a look of stone, Hotch gazed directly into her soul. "I would have never forgiven myself if you hadn't made it."

JJ gaped at his straightforwardness and honesty. She was at a loss for words.

Beyond caring if it was out of character for him, Aaron raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. He rested their joined hands against the side of his mouth and simply stared at her. He was so glad she was there with him he didn't care about anything else, including his blatant show of emotion.

"But I did make it. So you're off the hook," she told him with a lazy smile. She was so tired.

Rather than answer her, Hotch lowered their hands back to the bed. "Go to sleep, JJ. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Okay." And then she fell into a deep slumber.

/XXX/

"_Please don't give up. There's so much I'd change."_

_Aaron's eyes. Full of desperation, determination and hope._

"_Think of Henry, JJ…we all need you."_

_Aaron's eyes telling her things he couldn't say; He needs _her_._

_Aaron's hands comforting her. Aaron's face so close to hers._

"_JJ!" _

_Aaron's voice. Aaron's lips._

JJ gasped as she jerked awake. "Aaron!" she whispered. She was lying on her back and her eyes stared at the ceiling of her hospital room. Sunlight coated the walls and before long she was awake and alert. Her pupils moved rapidly as she thought about the images of her dream.

_Were they real?_

Unnoticed by the blonde, Rossi sat in a chair next to her bed. He had set down the magazine he was reading when she'd woken. At the name that escaped her lips, Dave raised his eyebrows and made a small smile.

"JJ? Are you okay?" he asked her quietly, not wanting to startle her. His efforts were in vain, because she flinched and turned to him with wide eyes.

"Dave? Where's—" she immediately cut herself off, not wanting to give herself away any further.

"He wanted to be here, but we forced him to see a doctor again and get a full checkup," Rossi explained. He saw JJ's eyebrows crinkle in confusion. "He refused to stay in his room earlier when you were in surgery."

Seeing JJ attempt to sit up he moved to help her. "Good?" he asked before he sat down again.

JJ nodded. "Why wouldn't he listen to the doctors?" JJ frowned.

Rossi chuckled at her ignorance. He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. "Because, JJ. It was you," he said. His answer was simple and straight to the point, but the meaning behind his words meant so much more.

JJ decided not to comment on Dave's remark and instead asked, "Why did you let him do that? That wasn't safe."

He shook his head as he settled back into his chair. "He wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer," he began to look back at his magazine again. "You know how stubborn he is," he muttered.

The two of them remained silent, Dave reading and JJ thinking.

"He still blames himself, doesn't he?"

Dave sighed. "We keep telling him not to, but like I said, he's stubborn." He glanced up at her. "What?"

JJ, unsure of what to say, turned her head and looked at her ceiling. "I'm not sure."

Dave suspected what was going on and wondered if she'd talk about it. He tested the waters and thought about how he'd bring the subject up. "You're remembering things about the accident?"

"Yes. I don't know. Maybe, I think so." JJ looked back at Dave with sad eyes.

"I think you should trust whatever comes back to you." He stared at the woman beside him with sincerity. He hoped his message got through to her.

At the sound of the door opening, JJ and Rossi broke their gaze and saw Aaron enter the room. When Hotch saw she was awake he stopped, caught off guard.

"JJ." He said her name with a surprised voice. JJ gave him a small smile at the man who stood before her. He was out of his hospital scrubs and dressed in his traditional suit, minus the jacket. His dress shirt was rolled up to allow room for the sling but other than that he looked like typical Hotch.

His lips curled up slightly and he broke eye contact with her. He glanced at Dave who appeared to be reading, but based on the smile on his face Aaron knew better. He slowly walked up to her bed and stopped next to her legs and just beside Dave's chair. "How are you feeling?"

"A lot better, thank you."

Aaron nodded at her response. "Good."

Silence settled in the room which made JJ feel awkward. Her dream kept flashing in her mind which made her weary of the man standing next to her bed.

"Ooookay," Rossi proclaimed. He got up and grinned. "I'm going to head out. Up for some company later, JJ? The others are dying to see you."

At the mention of her colleagues, JJ smiled. "Yes, I'd like that."

"Very good. I'll give them a call and we'll come by in an hour or so." He looked pointedly at her and Aaron, silently ordering them to talk. With a nod of his head he side stepped around Hotch and left the room, closing the door behind him.

When Aaron heard the door shut he watched as JJ avoided his eyes. Ever the perceptive profiler, he angled his head slightly to get a read on her. "You remember?"

JJ bit her lip and brought her eyes up to his. "Parts," she admitted.

Hotch focused on the edge of the blanket his fingers were toying with. He sighed and moved to sit in the vacant chair Rossi had left behind. "Which parts?"

JJ didn't answer him and instead studied the knot in his red tie. Hotch cleared his throat, his nerves starting to get to him.

"What would you change?" JJ asked him quietly. She was self-conscious and anxious as to whether or not he'd understand her question.

"Honestly, I haven't allowed myself to think about it that much. Your health has preoccupied me the last 24 hours." He knew it was a poor excuse and saw the disappointment on JJ's face.

Hotch rested his hand against his chin in thought. "I meant it, JJ, but…I'm not sure what to do about it. Should we even open this can of worms?"

Her eyes grew big at his question. "I think we already have." She had her hands clasped together, picking at some loose threads in her blanket. "You kissed me?" JJ whispered. He voice was hesitant and curious. She glanced at Aaron and saw resignation in his eyes.

"You remember that?"

"Of course I remember it. I don't think I could forget it even if I tried." She looked at the defeated look on his face. "Why does that upset you?"

"It doesn't upset you?" Hotch snapped. He instantly regretted his tone and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

JJ wouldn't meet his eyes and it was clear she was upset. Aaron wanted nothing more than to make her happy but he had to find another way to do so that didn't require him to bear his soul.

While he wanted nothing more than to go back to being caring and affectionate towards her, he needed to avoid doing so. His feelings didn't matter in their line of work for they weren't appropriate nor were they condoned. He hung his head in despair. His thoughts, words and actions in the past 24 hours all screamed his love for her, which left him confused and conflicted.

_He did love her._

_It doesn't matter, it can't be anything more_.

Small tears began to fill JJ's eyes. She was bewildered at Aaron's behavior and his 180 degree change in how he was speaking to her. She didn't know what to believe and Hotch was closing himself off.

"I guess you did what you had to do, Aaron." She began to feel anger bubble in her chest. "Good job, I fell for it."

Aaron shook his head, irritated at JJ's choice of words.

"What?" JJ demanded. "I'm alive after all, aren't I?"

"And I thank God for that, JJ," Hotch insisted. His eyes burned into hers and JJ saw he was sincere. "Every minute I do." He inwardly cringed as he felt _Aaron_ creeping through the shield he'd placed in order to mask his feelings.

After the drama from their accident and JJ's surgery he was able to think logically once again. He'd let so much slip to her and Dave that it was almost impossible to deny his feelings. But he couldn't show her any more; it was a decision he had to make as her superior.

Hotch briefly closed his eyes and forced himself to stop thinking about the emotions that ravaged through him in the prior 24 hours. Yet, he still wanted to grab her hand and squeeze it tight, so he was thankful the chair was a few feet away from the bed.

"Right," JJ scoffed. Their conversation wasn't going well and in the back of her mind a warning sign was blinking.

Hotch glared at her and pursed his lips before speaking. "Stop it! You have no idea. About anything," he protested. He was torn with how to resolve the situation and his calm demeanor was faltering.

"Then explain it to me!"

"No!" Hotch nearly yelled. "I can't do that, JJ. I thought I'd be able to but it would make things too complicated." He stood up and dragged a hand through his hair. He avoided her tear streaked face and prepared to leave. "I've accepted that it is a sacrifice I need to make. You need to, too." With that he left her with determined strides, straight out her door.

**To be continued…**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: I'm back! Sorry for the delay, it was my birthday last week so I've been busy having some fun. There isn't much Hotch and JJ interaction in this chapter, and I'm sorry for that, but it will be abundant in the near future!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Criminal Minds.

Wreck Part Three

It had been four days since JJ had seen Hotch.

The second day she found out he'd returned to Quantico. Since then, she has heard every excuse, explanation and guess in the book, even though she hadn't asked for them.

"He is recovering" was Rossi's excuse, though he looked as if he'd swallowed a lemon when he said it.

"Said he had a mountain of paperwork and I believe it" was Emily's comment. Emily was a workaholic as much as Hotch was so she hadn't seen anything wrong with his absence.

"Maybe he has a lady friend to get home to, Jayje" Morgan had joked as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"He probably needed to get home to Jack. It is statistically proven that kids who grow up in single parent homes…" was Reid's idea of comforting her.

"Aw pumpkin, I wish I didn't have to leave. I'm sure Hotch felt the same way. This is so hard! How did he stand it?" had been Garcia's contribution. While it wasn't necessarily an excuse for Hotch, it bothered JJ that Garcia implied he actually cared.

_He didn't care._

JJ let out a sigh and wished she could go somewhere, anywhere, other than the hospital's halls. She looked around the room from her seat by the window and wondered how people managed to stay in hospitals long-term without going crazy.

_She was going crazy; Hotch was taking the driver's seat and driving her absolutely crazy._

JJ desperately wanted to call Will at his place and talk to Henry again, but her son was most likely getting ready for bed. In order to resist the temptation JJ placed her phone on the window sill to her left. She watched raindrops fall haphazardly down the glass which made her think of the tears she'd shed over the past few days. She was careful to hide her sadness from the team, for she didn't want them to begin to read into things.

_To profile her._

But at night she allowed herself to succumb to her grief and confusion. She didn't understand it, but Hotch's abrupt change towards her felt tragic. She felt he'd abandoned her, physically and emotionally and she was unusually devastated. However, lately she had begun to resent him and become angry, not sad. She was mad that he had stirred things up and she was pissed that she embraced it.

That, and she really, really needed to get out of the hospital before she lost it.

JJ began to pick at her nails, a habit she'd picked up from Emily, and growled in frustration.

"You gonna make it?"

JJ snapped her head up and saw Emily standing at her doorway. "Please tell me you have something edible to give me?" JJ groaned as she stood.

Emily raised an eyebrow and held up the bag of take out she held in her hands. "I didn't even have to smuggle it in, the nurses must like you."

JJ smirked and walked to her bed, gently lowering herself on its mattress. "What did you get?" she asked.

JJ ignored the puzzled look Emily had on her face and leaned back into her pillows.

"Your favorite," she answered her. JJ remained silent while Emily moved the tray table up to the bed. Her visitor pulled up a chair and began to pull out the cartons of Chinese food. She offered JJ a smile which faltered at JJ's irritable look. "Brighten up, you'll be out of here tomorrow. And we don't even have to drive like Hotch did! He sent the jet to get us."

At her boss' name JJ flinched, which didn't go unnoticed by Emily. "Great," JJ sneered.

Aaron had been so desperate to get away from her; he'd driven an SUV back to Quantico, with one arm nonetheless. He had left the jet for the rest of the team who stayed an extra day to keep her company. Emily had agreed to stay behind for the remainder of JJ's hospital stay and escort her home.

Emily gave her a curious look, not completely understanding where JJ's resentment was coming from. She stopped unpacking the food and met JJ's eyes. "What's up, Jayje?"

JJ sighed and began to open her carton. "Nothing. Just sick of being here." She grabbed the wooden chopsticks and broke them apart. She began to grow wary of Emily's presence which made her feel guilty. Her friend was there for her but all she could think about was being alone. She wasn't in the mood to talk, she just wanted to eat and wallow in her misery.

Emily chewed her food and habitually observed JJ's behavior.

Realizing what Emily was doing, JJ paused in between bites of food and narrowed her eyes. "Stop profiling me!"

Emily blinked, startled by JJ's outburst. She furrowed her eyebrows and said, "Whoa JJ! Where is all this hostility coming from?"

JJ forced herself to take a deep breath and closed her eyes. The past five days have taken a toll on her and her attitude. At this point, she wished they hadn't happened; she didn't want to know about Hotch's feelings, she didn't want to recognize her own feelings and wanted her life, their lives, to go back to normal.

_She's starting to sound like Hotch._

_Would it really have been better to never have discovered her feelings towards the wonderful man that was Aaron Hotchner?_

She wondered if she should be happy that her and Aaron's affection towards each other was finally noticed by them, even somewhat acted upon. The memory of Aaron's sincere, sweet behavior gave her butterflies in her stomach. A small smile appeared on her lips as she allowed herself to remember the gentle Aaron rather than the rough, stubborn Aaron she witnessed just before he left her.

"Hey! JJ?" Emily interrupted, snapping some fingers in front of JJ's face.

She refocused her eyes and was met with Emily's concerned face.

"You got lost there for a bit. Everything okay?"

JJ stared at her, conflicted as to whether she should say anything about her and Hotch's experience in the car and her hospital room.

JJ nodded. "Yes, everything is fine. Just eager to get out of here," she half lied.

Emily gave her an expectant look. "Come on, Jayje. Other than that something is bothering you."

JJ rolled her eyes. "Didn't I tell you not to profile me?"

Emily shrugged and became defensive. "I'm just trying to be helpful!"

"There's nothing to be helpful about!" JJ protested. "I was in a car accident, I was injured and now I've recovered. Things are fine." She stopped her rant and jabbed at her food.

Emily shook her head and gave up. "Ok JJ. Whatever you say." She resumed eating and silence settled between them.

The quiet unnerved JJ and suddenly she wasn't hungry. She pushed her food away and sighed. Emily glanced at her but said nothing.

"I'm sorry." It was a simple apology that was almost drowned out by the rain pouring outside. She watched as her friend nodded in acceptance but JJ didn't feel any better about the situation.

Emily gestured towards JJ's food. "Not hungry?"

JJ shook her head and looked down at her hands. She wrung her fingers together and felt a tug in her chest. "Uh…uhm…" She allowed her words to fade into the air. Nervous, JJ chuckled at herself. Regaining her bearings, she inhaled a deep breath and released it, blowing away wisps of her blonde hair. She knew she should stick to her initial plan of secrecy, but she should have known that it'd be impossible to hide anything from Emily. She was one of her closest friends who also happened to be a seasoned, FBI profiler.

"Things were said, by Aaron, when we were in the wreck and after my surgery." JJ refused to look up but felt Emily's curiosity peak. Knowing she held her friend's full attention, JJ slowly continued. "He was like I'd never seen him before. He was honest and wonderful and just…seemingly perfect." JJ finished her weak explanation, distracted by the thought of the kiss she and Aaron had shared only days before.

JJ looked up to gauge Emily's reaction to her words. The brunette's eyebrows were knotted together as she tried to fit the pieces of information together.

Eventually she gave up and shook her head. "Hotch? You mean he got personal?"

"Yeah. And emotional. He was different. He was…Aaron," JJ admitted.

Emily cocked her head to the side and peered at JJ with a smirk. "You're telling me our stoic, anti-emotion unit chief—"

She cut herself off when JJ gave her a sharp look. She swallowed and inwardly shuddered; if looks could kill Emily would have been dead the minute she had started talking. She bit her lip and considered another approach.

"Well, I don't know what to say. It is hard to imagine Hotch being Aaron."

JJ huffed out a short breath. "Right?" The two of them shared knowing smiles.

"Just how 'Aaron' was he?" Emily asked, treading carefully.

JJ felt blush rise in her cheeks and cleared her throat. "He was like a different man, Em. The way he looked at me, the things he said, his actions...were unrecognizable but it was so easy to accept it. It was as if we had been that way for ages. It felt natural." She stopped, unsure of how to continue.

JJ ran her hands through her hair to calm herself. The whole situation she was facing left her off balance and she hadn't a clue on how to get her footing again.

"Then he came in here almost a week ago, acting indifferent to the whole situation." JJ felt her voice grow tight with irritation. "At first he was insisting it was nothing, at least that how it sounded, but just before he left he labeled it a 'sacrifice we had to make'." JJ scoffed, her exasperation taking the best of her. "I mean, what the hell, Em?!"

JJ gave her friend a defeated look and leaned back against her pillows. She didn't dare tell Emily about their kiss or get into any other specifics with her; those were things she needed to keep between herself and Hotch.

Emily's eyes grew huge at JJ's story. She struggled with something to say to her but found she was at a loss for words. Never in a million years had she expected to hear about an emotional Hotch, especially one whose emotions all seemed to settle on JJ.

"Wow," she whispered. Emily leaned back and crossed her arms. "How bad is it?"

JJ shrugged and stared out the window. The sky was growing darker and the trees were swaying in the wind, seemingly out of control.

_Her emotions were out of control._

"It hurts," she ended up confessing.

"I'm sure," Emily placated. She knew JJ was fighting an internal battle that she was most likely not going to win that night. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," JJ said in a soft voice, utterly lost.

/XXX/

Emily walked down the hall and slowed at the elevators. She sighed as she rolled her neck in an effort to loosen it. Her dinner with JJ was unexpectedly intense and still left her mind reeling.

_Hotch? And JJ?_

JJ had refused to talk any further about herself or Hotch after she'd admitted to not knowing how to solve the situation. Every time Emily had tried to veer their conversation back to their unit chief, JJ would shut down.

She pressed the button summoning the elevator and tapped her foot impatiently. At that moment nothing sounded better than a hot shower and a good night's sleep before she returned to collect JJ and head back to Quantico.

Emily's phone rang, snapping her out of her reverie. She saw who it was on the caller ID and sighed. "Here goes," she mumbled.

"Prentiss," she answered. The elevator chimed and its doors opened invitingly.

"It's Hotch. The jet will be there by nine am tomorrow, I just confirmed it."

Emily stared longingly at the elevator in front of her and frowned. "Okay, I'll leave a message for JJ at the nurse's station now since she is trying to sleep." She turned and trudged down the hall in the direction she came in.

"You're there now? At the hospital?" Hotch asked, surprised.

"Yes." She stopped walking and waited.

"How is she?"

His voice tone had changed to something Emily wasn't familiar with. The difference was slight, but just enough to notice. She debated how to answer him, since she knew JJ was still recovering emotionally as well as physically.

"She's been better." Emily forced herself to keep her voice even. While she didn't know the whole story, she was pretty sure her stoic boss' pride was part of the reason her friend was so upset.

"I've been talking to her doctors and they said she was fine. They cleared her release." Emily raised her eyebrows at Hotch's checking up with JJ's doctors multiple times.

_Why not just ask her how she's doing yourself?_

"Is she okay? Nothing's happened?" Hotch rushed out.

Emily rolled her eyes. Hotch should be where she was, talking with JJ and taking her home.

"She's fine," Emily explained. "Physically," she finished. She hoped her message got across.

Silence.

"Call me when you take off. If you need anything you know how to reach me."

Emily blanched at Hotch's 180 and decided two could play that game. "Yes, _sir_. Will that be all?"

"Yes. Goodnight."

The call immediately disconnected and Emily cringed. JJ was going to kill her in the morning.

**To be continued…**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Here's part four of my supposed two-shot (lol).  
**Lenika08** – Yes, for now he is.  
**Wren Calhoun **– I'm glad to know you enjoy this ship! Yay for jumping on board! If you want more, check out my other stories  
**Jekkah **– As always, your detailed reviews are much appreciated. Thank you!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Criminal Minds

Wreck Part Four

There was a bustle of activity in the bullpen and at first glance, nothing seemed to be out of sorts. However, nervous energy was abundant between the BAU team members. Rumor had it, via Penelope Garcia, that their absent team member would be returning at any moment. JJ was at her final doctor's appointment and if she was in the clear, she would be back in full swing, much to the pleasure of her teammates.

Reid began to practice his magic tricks to show her. Morgan spent his time in the bullpen, much to Emily's nerves, rather than in his office since he didn't want to miss anything. Garcia, who was finding any excuse she could to be out of her office, had baked an assortment of cupcakes and cookies to hand out the second her friend walked through the BAU's glass doors.

The only two seemingly calm people in the vicinity were Rossi and Hotch. Though, contrary to the naked eye, Hotch was anything but calm.

He distracted himself the best he could with paperwork but his stomach was still in knots over JJ's inevitable return. He hadn't seen or talked to JJ in two weeks, but that didn't mean he didn't think about her. Every time she entered his mind he tried to push her out of it. He tried to find a means of distraction wherever or however he could but very rarely had he been successful.

Worse yet, he was sure his team noticed a change in him, especially Prentiss and Rossi. He'd pretended to pay no mind to their behavior and continued, to the best to his ability, to go about his daily work and keep his distance. So far he'd done well, but the true test would be walking through the doors at any moment.

His heart stopped when he saw, out of the corner of his eye, everyone in the bullpen still. He glanced through his office blinds and saw them stand with their arms out, offering someone an excited, long awaited welcome.

/XXX/

JJ walked into the BAU with her purse on her shoulder and her doctor's clearance clutched in her hand. At first no one had noticed her until Rossi came out of his office and placed his hands on his hips.

"Well look who's back!" he proclaimed, making his way over to her.

Everyone in the bullpen immediately stopped what they were doing and turned their heads. When they saw JJ they went to her, happily announcing her return. JJ's heart warmed at their enthusiasm and gave each of them hugs.

"Hey," she greeted while she hugged Reid. "I missed you guys! How are you?"

"Shouldn't we be asking you that, Jayje?" Morgan asked her. He nodded his head to the paper in her hand. "What did the doctor say?"

She held up the report in victory and allowed a big grin to grace her face. "All clear! I can start today!"

"Yeah! I can finally eat those cookies! Where are they, Mama?" Morgan asked Garcia.

Penelope sighed and shook her head. "In my humble abode where you, my chocolate god, have no permission to enter unsupervised." She smiled at Morgan's groan and turned to JJ. "So glad you're back, sweets!" She leaned forward and gave her friend a hug before walking Morgan back to her office.

JJ smiled as the team's tech analyst escorted Morgan away. "What did she make this time?"

"Some sort of treat that'll make me do double the exercise to work it off after I consume it," said Emily with a roll of her eyes.

"Well I hope it is chocolate chip cookies," JJ said.

"You know, there is this common misconception that you can cancel out what you eat by exercising more where in reality anything we digest is—"

Emily held up her hand. "Reid, stop. I can't handle hearing how Garcia's delicious cookies are going to make my fat cells multiply."

"Actually that's not what I was going to say, it is a known fact that…" his sentence drifted at the look Emily and JJ directed towards him. "Nevermind."

JJ allowed herself a chuckle at Reid's helpless expression and patted his shoulder. "Let's just enjoy the cookies. You can tell me all about the consequences of eating them later."

There was a lull in conversation and JJ found herself looking towards Hotch's office. She hadn't heard from him in a few weeks. Rossi had been their go-between which meant she didn't know what Hotch was thinking or feeling for the life of her.

JJ looked to her teammate. Both Rossi and Prentiss were giving her sympathetic looks.

Rossi patted her shoulder and offered a few words of encouragement. "You can't avoid him forever. Just get it over with."

"He's right, Jayje," Emily agreed.

"What?" Reid asked, completely oblivious. He looked from the two profilers and back to JJ, confusion etched in his face.

Emily smiled and tugged on his arm. "It's nothing, Dr. Reid. Let's go get some of those deliciously, unhealthy treats." Emily dragged him away, leaving JJ alone with Rossi.

"What do I say?" JJ asked him as she looked back to Hotch's office door.

Rossi sighed. "I don't know, kiddo. Take it one minute at a time."

"Okay," she answered. JJ took a deep breath and walked to her boss' office. She knew she had approximately ten seconds to decide how she was going to approach the situation that lay in front of her.

_Follow his lead and be cold and distant? Be herself? _

By the time she reached Hotch's door, she still had no idea what to do.

/XXX/

"Come in," Hotch called when he heard the knock on his door. In an effort to look busy, he continued to write meaningless notes in the margins of the report that lay in front of him.

He heard, rather than saw, JJ enter his office. Her steady footsteps grew louder as she approached his desk. When she didn't offer him a greeting, Aaron was forced to stop his scribbling and look up at her.

Before he could mask his emotions, Hotch's eyes grew wide at her appearance. JJ had lost weight, which was to be expected when one was injured, but her thinner frame unnerved him. She was wearing a pencil skirt and a blue blouse which both hung loosely off her body. He allowed his eyes to travel upwards to her face. First, he saw her lips that were chapped. Her cheeks didn't have their normal rosy color and there were dark circles under her eyes. Her blue orbs looked empty, distant and sad.

The emotion that flooded him almost made Hotch lose his control. He was milliseconds away from going to her and enveloping her tiny frame in his, whispering words of care and comfort into her ear.

Hotch shook his head and looked down to give him a chance to recover. He needed to mask his emotions if he didn't want to make things harder on JJ than he already had.

"JJ," Hotch said in an even voice as he brought his eyes back up to her. "What brings you here?" He knew why she was there, but he hadn't known how else to start their conversation.

JJ stepped closer to the front of his desk and handed him a piece of paper. He took it, careful not to let their hands touch.

"I'm cleared to work. I can return effective immediately; no restrictions." Her voice was even and controlled. "I just need your signature before it goes into my file."

He briefly glanced at the slightly crinkled paper and nodded. "Very well," he said as he flattened the paper on his desk. "Did you plan on starting today, or…?"

"Today," JJ quickly answered. Her eagerness made the corners of Hotch's lips curl upwards; an action hidden from JJ since he was still looking down at her doctor's note. JJ's work ethic always impressed him. It was one of the things about her he loved.

Hotch gritted his teeth. It was stray thoughts like those that got him into trouble. He finished his signature with a frustrated flourish. He placed the paper on a stack of files in the corner of his desk, next to a gaudy clock. A gift from an FBI function he'd attended a few days before, the clock had a marble base on which his name was engraved. Its face sat on top it and was protected by a glass case. Its steady ticking echoed off his office walls, penetrating the silence in his office. The noise clawed at his nerves and made him exceedingly uncomfortable.

_He should just throw the damn thing against the wall. _

He tapped his fingers on the polished surface of his desk and looked at JJ. "You're sure?"

Another pause.

"Yes, Hotch. I'm coming back. Today," she insisted calmly. The two of them stared at each other, wondering who would break first.

_It's like a game of cat and mouse_.

"Okay," Aaron replied while he began to shuffle various papers on his desk. "I'll have Garcia give you the case files she's been reviewing in your absence." Hotch purposefully neglected to mention he'd been reviewing some as well. He would give them to Garcia and have her turn them over to JJ.

"Great." JJ's voice cracked and she cleared her throat. "I'll just…" she motioned to his office door when he finally looked back at her. She offered him tight smile and said her thanks before turning to leave.

Hotch felt a mix between relief and guilt swell in his chest as he watched JJ head out of the room. He slowly tapped his pen on the papers in front of him, thinking. Deep down he knew he couldn't keep giving JJ the cold shoulder; she deserved more than that. He sighed and dragged his hand down his face in exasperation.

"JJ," he called.

When she heard her name she stopped midstride. JJ took a breath and turned back to Hotch, careful to keep her face indifferent. He had stood up from his chair and his arms hung at his side. His gaze made JJ feel like he was seeing all of her, even the parts she was trying to hide from him.

She waited for him to say something to her but he seemed conflicted.

"What, Hotch?" JJ asked, not able to bear the silence any longer.

He sighed in frustration and tossed the pen he was fiddling with onto his desk. He rested his hands on his hips and opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

_Why was this so difficult? It was only JJ!_

"I…" Hotch fell silent and took a moment to look into her eyes. She'd closed them off to him and her steely gaze gave nothing away. It'd taken him aback since he was the one who was always keeping his features impassive. He pursed his lips, irritated that JJ was maintaining composure when his was failing him.

"Welcome back. Please let someone know if you need anything." He nodded in dismissal.

"Thank you," JJ replied.

Hotch watched her turn on her heel and walk away from him with brisk steps. When she shut the door behind her with a soft click he instantly felt alone. He collapsed into his chair and let out a deep sigh.

_Now what?_

/XXX/

"Sir?" Garcia said to Hotch as he began to leave the bullpen.

"Yes, Garcia?" He stopped and partially turned towards his tech analyst. She dropped a stack of files on a desk and walked up to him. Behind her, Hotch saw JJ hurrying towards the same desk so she could set down an even larger stack of files in her own hands. Hotch noticed her wince as she straightened. He had to refrain himself from asking her if she was okay. Instead he fixed a glare at Garcia for allowing JJ to carry something so heavy.

The tech's face fell slightly and she glanced over her shoulder. "JJ! I told you I'd come back for those!"

JJ rolled her eyes, peeved that she was being babied. "It's fine, Pen," she insisted. She avoided Hotch's eyes and pretended to organize the folders.

Sighing, Garcia turned around. "I'm finished getting JJ up to speed on the cases I'd been reviewing for her so she's all yours when you want her!" she told her boos with her trademark peppy voice.

Hotch flinched at Garcia's choice of words and almost groaned out loud. He'd forgotten to give his files to Penelope to give to JJ. Out of the corner of his eye Hotch saw JJ still and wait for his response.

He couldn't simply say he'd drop them off in her office because it was a cop out and the whole team was around them. While his agents appeared to be busy working, Hotch knew their ears were always on full alert. He had to choose his words carefully in order to avoid suspicion.

"I'm typing up my notes, I'll email them to JJ when I'm finished," he told Garcia. He saw Dave leaning on the railing just outside his office, watching the exchange.

"Thank you for your help, Garcia. I'll be in my office." He continued to walk back to his office, purposefully ignoring the hurt look on JJ's face.

/XXX/

Hotch could probably hear his stomps as he approached his office but David Rossi was beyond caring. He gave his friend's door a quick knock and barged in. He gave the door a hearty push and allowed it to slam shut behind him.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Aaron had witnessed his dramatic entrance and raised his eyebrows. "I'm working, Dave. What are you doing barging into my office?"

"I want to know what your problem is." Rossi put his hands on his hips and walked closer to his friend's desk.

"My problem?" Hotch asked in a controlled, monotone voice.

"Don't play dumb with me, Aaron. You and I both know what we're talking about. Who we're talking about."

"It's none of your business, Dave." Aaron fixed a stony glare at him but Rossi was immune to it.

"No, it's not. But I was there in that waiting room with you. I was there when you barely held it together at the side of JJ's bed. You forget I was there when you confessed everything to me!"

"Then you know that I knew I was out of line and that I intended to fix it." Hotch's voice was dangerously low, dripping with warning.

Rossi stepped closer and sneered at him. "Ignoring yours and JJ's feelings is not 'fixing it'."

Unperturbed by his snarky remark, Aaron remained seated. "That's the way it has to be."

"That's a bullshit line and you know it," Rossi exclaimed.

"No, it's not," Aaron countered, just barely raising his voice. "I'm her superior. Nothing was 'normal', nor appropriate about it."

At his friend's blind will Rossi softened a little. "You say it as if _it_ no longer exists. You and I both know feelings like yours can't simply be shut off."

"They can be if it means our jobs."

"Screw the job, Aaron!" Dave snapped. The fact that Hotch of all people used the job as an excuse downright pissed him off. "The job owes you more than you owe it."

Aaron scoffed and leaned back into his chair, tossing his pen onto his desk. "You're kidding me, right? Dave, do you realize what you're saying?" he asked in disbelief.

Rossi sighed but wasn't going to give up just yet. "Look, I know you are by-the-book, serious about this job but Aaron, you and I both know you lo—"

"Back off, Rossi." Hotch warned, sitting up again. At Aaron's small display of emotion Dave felt he was finally getting somewhere.

"So that's how it is going to be, is it? Living your life in denial?"

Hotch slowly stood. "This conversation is over." He watched and waited for Rossi to acknowledge his dismissal and take his leave.

"Okay," Dave answered quietly. "I'll just say one more thing. I saw JJ after you left her and I see JJ now. If you are any bit of the man I know you are, you wouldn't let her hurt like this. Especially when you have the power to fix it."

Aaron didn't move and didn't say a word.

Dave yanked the door open and once again allowed it to slam shut behind him.

Only after he heard Rossi's retreating footsteps did Aaron allow himself to react. He reached for the case file he'd been working on and flung it off his desk. Papers fell helplessly to the floor and Aaron couldn't help but compare them to himself; lost with nowhere to go but downwards.

**To be continued…**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Hello again! Thought I'd post two chapters in as many days so, please, please, please review in return! :)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

Wreck Part Five

The rest of JJ's day in the BAU consisted of catching up on paperwork. Lots of paperwork. For which she was thankful for since it kept her busy. The cases she weaved through proved to be a good distraction from everything else. Everything and anything to do with Aaron Hotchner.

She wasn't surprised when he'd sent emails rather than come to her office or call. She had somewhat expected someone else to walk in and hand her the files Hotch had worked on the minute she saw his report pop up in her email. It was Morgan who had made the delivery since he'd just come from a meeting in Aaron's office. When the team went out for lunch, she had figured Hotch would decline and she had been right. They delicately avoided each other and she was sure no one on the team had noticed. Yet. Eventually JJ knew she would no longer be able to use "catching up on things" as an excuse for chaining herself to her desk. If she wasn't careful the team would see the blatant attempts she and Hotch made to stay away from each other.

She groaned and closed her eyes, once again wishing she could erase every memory of the Aaron she'd witnessed during the aftermath of the accident.

Deep down she knew they needed to talk or else things would get worse. The problem was that Aaron wouldn't even stay in the same room as her. She felt her eyes begin to well up. Would things ever go back to normal? Or were things forever broken? What did it mean for her, for Hotch, for their jobs? They had case files to review together in the early mornings and late evenings. She gave briefings on crime scenes and he gave the orders to investigate them. They were a pair. They were the core of the BAU.

JJ sighed and rested her head on her hands. She had no idea what she and Hotch were going to do but knew they needed to figure things out fast. They worked with some very intuitive and observant people and the last thing she wanted was to spread her and Aaron's tension to the others.

She leaned back, looking at the stack of files that needed Hotch's signature. She bit her lower lip and debated leaving it to deal with tomorrow. However, she really needed to get grip and do her job.

JJ stood and turned off her lamp, gathering her things to take home. Grudgingly, she picked up the case files requiring her boss' signature and silently prayed Hotch had gone home for the night.

She walked into the bullpen and peeked towards his office. She paused when she saw his light on she rolled her eyes. She should have known better than to think Aaron was gone.

_Her hesitation was ridiculous. She could face Aaron Hotchner._

She walked to his office and slowed at the doorway. His door was ajar but Hotch was nowhere to be found. Sighing with relief she approached the desk and quietly set down the files. JJ glanced around for a pen and paper she could use to write him a note but she was unsuccessful. Desperate to avoid another awkward conversation, she shrugged and figured her boss would put two and two together.

When JJ began to walk away, her purse caught on something. In slow motion, she watched a desk clock fall to the floor. It landed and immediately shattered. Bits of glass were strewn everywhere making JJ freeze on the spot.

JJ stood staring at the shattered glass as images of the mangled SUV flashed in her mind.

_Glass covered every surface and she could feel some pieces digging into her flesh._

JJ squeezed her eyes shut and told herself she was okay, that she was safe. That there was no reason for the stab of fear in her chest. She took a step back and felt glass breaking beneath her foot with a crunch. The sound made her flinch.

She felt herself begin to breathe faster so she clenched her hands into fists, allowing her nails to dig into her skin. A feeling of desperation overcame JJ and her chest felt tight. As if in a trance, JJ sank to the floor and began to pick up the glass with her bare hands. She felt tears begin to water her eyes but didn't care; she had to clean up the glass. It needed to disappear and be gone.

"JJ?"

/XXX/

He came to a stop just inside his office, taken aback by JJ's presence. He frowned at her position on the floor at the foot of his desk. She was bent over something he couldn't make out and was absolutely perplexed as to what was happening. Files lay in disarray on his desk, some of which had fallen onto the floor. They'd landed next to a marble slab that Hotch recognized to be his desk clock.

He took a step towards JJ but stopped at the sound she made. She let out a gasp which evolved into a light sob. She flinched and opened her hands, pulling them towards herself as if she'd been burned. Hotch narrowed his eyes, utterly confused at JJ's behavior, when he noticed her hands shaking. His eyes grew wide at what he saw.

"JJ!"

Dropping the files he held, Hotch ran to her. When he reached JJ he took in the sight before him. His clock had fallen and had shattered, littering his carpet with sharp shards of glass. Shards JJ was once again attempting to pick up with her bare, bloodied hands. Hotch sank to his knees beside her and wrapped his fingers around her wrists.

"JJ!" he demanded. He squeezed her wrists tightly in an attempt to force her hands away. In one she was picking up the pieces. Her other hand was clenching some of the glass she'd already picked up. He winced as specks of glass pierced his slacks and bit into his knees. "JJ, stop!"

As he began to pull JJ's arms away, he was met with force. JJ was fighting against him, determined to pick up the shards.

_She wasn't hearing him. _

The moment was eerily familiar. The glass, JJ's bloodied hands, JJ's shock.

His concern for JJ began to turn into an emotionally frantic worry, a feeling all too familiar to him. He tensed and reminded himself he needed to keep his composure, he couldn't make the same mistakes he had before.

_Now he needed to decide _which_ of his actions were mistakes._

He tightened his grip on her wrists again and he finally got JJ to open her hands. Some glass fell while other bits were left behind, wedged into her skin. As he began to tug at her wrists again, Hotch felt his grip slip on the streaks of blood that oozed down from her cut palms.

Suddenly, as if a light bulb went off in her head, JJ stopped fighting him. The forced he'd been using caused him to fall backwards into a sitting position, bringing JJ with him. Aaron instinctively pulled her further into his lap and held her close. The only sounds in his office were his own deep breaths and JJ's soft, whispery sobs.

Hotch buried his face into her hair because he was too stunned to say anything. JJ was emotionally distraught, something he was beginning to realize he caused. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes.

He should have seen that something in JJ was still amiss. Hotch mentally cursed himself; It was his responsibility to notice if things were off with the agents under his command. He had been unaware of JJ's fragile state of mind. He had failed to recognize that while she was back, she wasn't fully recovered. He missed all these things.

_Because he had avoided her instead._

Hotch felt JJ allow the tension to leave JJ's body and she sank into his chest. She rested her bloodied hands, palms up, on her lap and stared at them as big tears fell down her cheeks. The power JJ had on him baffled Aaron. She was able to bring out anything in him. She was the one person he couldn't keep his emotions in check with. She had control of his heart and mind and soul. He didn't understand it.

_Because he loves her._

Once again Hotch allowed himself to admit his feelings, albeit to himself, and he was at a loss. He knew his control had abandoned him the moment he saw her hurt in the SUV. It didn't exist when she was around him, no matter how much he faked it.

Aaron looked down at JJ's hands and felt sick. He should have protected her, he should have watched her more closely. He held her tighter against him and rock them back and forth on the floor.

"I'm sorry, JJ. God, forgive me, I'm so sorry," he moaned. He began to rock them back and forth. JJ's head was tucked under his chin and he wondered why she still trusted him.

/XXX/

They had been sitting on his office floor for a good half hour before she fully calmed down. JJ steadily felt her breaths even out and heart rate go back down while she remained enveloped in Aaron's arms. Ever since Aaron forced her to drop the glass, her hands hadn't bled as much. It slowly began to clot which made her palms feel stiff and painful.

But she had barely noticed. JJ was emotionally and physically exhausted to the point where she couldn't even remember how they'd gotten there; on his floor, wrapped around each other.

She sighed against Hotch's chest and closed her eyes. She inhaled his scent which ironically made her feel secure with all things considering.

"We need to get you cleaned up, JJ," Hotch whispered.

At his voice JJ looked at her palms. They were a gruesome sight. She sat up straighter and stared at her injuries. Her hands were sticky from her blood and glass was embedded in her skin. She cringed at the sight and what Hotch must think of her. JJ glanced at him only to find him watching her intently. His eyes were concerned and fearful, which told her he found her dangerously unpredictable. Without moving her eyes from his, she muttered out an apology.

"I'm sorry."

Aaron studied her and after a beat, broke their gaze. "I don't want you to be," he said. To JJ, he appeared to be as broken as she felt.

_They couldn't continue like this. _

Hotch helped her up and walked her to his couch. Once she was settled, he walked over to a drawer and retrieved a first aid kit. He set it down and removed his jacket and tie before taking a seat on the coffee table across from JJ. She watched him silently as he rolled up each of his sleeves, preparing to clean her wounds.

"What were you thinking, JJ?" he quietly asked her. He sandwiched her legs between his own and placed a triage towel on her lap. He reached over for the tweezers to use to remove the glass from her skin but didn't begin right away. Hotch met her eyes and waited, but she still didn't answer his question. "You weren't thinking, were you?"

His voice held no judgment; instead it sounded guilty. He carefully began to pick away the glass in her skin while JJ continued to sit there, silent and numb. After a few minutes, Hotch spoke.

"How did it happen?"

JJ winced as he withdrew a larger piece of glass from her palm. She debated about the best way to explain herself. "I was in a hurry. I wanted to leave before you got back," she confessed. Her voice was raw and she sounded weak.

_She felt weak._

Hotch raised his eyes to hers but she quickly looked away, embarrassed. Finished extracting the glass from her palms, Hotch set the tweezers aside and grabbed a piece of gauze.

"I'm sorry I broke your—"

Hotch shook his head and interrupted her. "No." He poured some antiseptic onto the gauze as he took a deep breath. "It is my fault you felt rushed. I…I was unfair to you," he said. He took one of JJ's hands in his, holding it in place. "This may sting a little," he mumbled.

JJ watched as he began to disinfect the cuts and relished the painful sting she felt. It made her feel strong, in a sense, that she could take the pain.

"Almost done," he gently encouraged her. Hotch continued to mend her hands and JJ was content on simply watching him being so tender towards her.

"I told myself that I was doing the right thing," Hotch admitted, unexpectedly breaking the silence. "I should have known that avoiding the issue wasn't going to make it better."

She furrowed her eyebrows at his words. "The…issue?" she repeated. JJ felt a tiny flicker of resentment. She couldn't believe Aaron would insinuate their feelings were something that could be simply fixed, that they were insignificant.

He heard her attitude shift and met JJ's eyes for a second. He tried to backtrack as he focused on wrapping her hands.

"JJ." His voice sounded defeated and tired. He cut the wrapping and secured it before starting on her other hand. "We need to move on from this." He was barely able to speak the words that had come out of his mouth. He may care for her, but his morals demanded he follow the rules. He wasn't allowed to love her. In short, he was doomed for the rest of his life.

She saw him wince and wondered if his words hurt him to say as much as hearing them hurt her. His stubbornness made JJ's resentment gradually turn into anger.

"Do we?" JJ challenged, gearing up for an argument.

At her tone Hotch paused and looked her squarely in the eyes. "Yes."

He'd used his unit chief voice which upset JJ even more. JJ couldn't believe it. She couldn't fathom how the wonderful, albeit obstinate, man before her could be so selfish. How he could write her off so easily. It was her life, too. It took two seconds before JJ succumbed to all the emotion she'd managed to bottle up inside her.

"No!" she suddenly yelled. Her protest startled Hotch who slid backwards a bit. "No!" she repeated. JJ wrenched her hands out of his. "It isn't fair! How can you, Aaron?!" she began hitting him in the chest. "How can you do this to me?!" she cried as she continued to slap his chest. She was aggravating her injuries but didn't care. She could feel blood seeping through her bandages but didn't stop. "How, Aaron? You. Did. This!"

In her distress she missed Hotch's eyes grow big in alarm. She missed the fear in his face. She missed his demeanor crack. She didn't hear him calling her name, begging her to stop. JJ saw nothing but flashes of Aaron being sweet. She heard nothing but Aaron saying kind, wonderful things to her. Her memories pained her to her core. It was more than she could bear.

"I hate you, Aaron Hotchner! Look what you've done to me!" She had no idea where her violent reaction was coming from. All she knew was that she was going to take it out on the man who was utterly ruining her. Ruining them.

"Stop!" he yelled. Aaron grabbed her upper arms to restrain her. "You're hurting yourself!"

"Let me go! You lied to me! It was all lies!" JJ struggled to free herself. She knew she was out of control but she couldn't care if she tried. "You don't care, you never did! You never…"

"JJ you're wrong!" Hotch protested.

"…cared about me, or us, or—"

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is! You have wrecked ev—"

/XXX/

He didn't know if it was out of desperation to prove her wrong or to get her to stop hurting herself. He didn't know if he did it for her or for himself. He just pulled her forward and did it.

At first she fought him, but that only lasted for a few seconds.

JJ began to kiss him back fiercely, and Aaron simply let himself go. He freed himself of his rules and regulations. He just did what felt right.

He pulled her into his lap for the second time that night and felt her legs lock behind his back, having nowhere else to put them. She crossed her wrists on the back of his neck, securing her arms around him. He pulled her as close to him as physically possible and allowed his hands to roam over her back. His tongue played with her bottom lip until she opened her mouth to him. Each of them devoured the other, neither paying any mind to where they were or the problems their actions would inevitably cause.

Their kiss was nothing short of desperate and was it was fueled by a raw passion that rivaled any and every love story.

**To be continued…**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** After this, I have NO IDEA where I'm going to take this story. Suggestions/reviews are welcome, needed and will be helpful!

A shout out to **Jekkah** (your comments make me feel like I'm taking this plot in the right direction. Thank you for each and every one of them), **SSAmolloy7** (your enthusiasm rocks), **ncis4ever21** (I have a feeling you may want to kill me after this chapter. Maybe. Read to find out!), **Wren Calhoun** (thank you for noticing my attempt to keep them in character, a lot of my stories come under fire for them not being Hotch-like or JJ-like enough. I'm really trying and hope it shows in this chapter as well), **its-all-gravy-baby** (sorry for making you wait! And your name is so cool lol) and **Criminalmindschick221** (thank you! Hope you like this one too!) for….YOUR REVIEWS! (and keeping me motivated!)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds

Wreck Part Six

"_You don't care, you never did! You never…"_

"_JJ you're wrong!" Hotch protested._

"…_cared about me, or us, or—"_

"_That's not true!"_

"_Yes it is! You have wrecked ev—"_

/XXX/

Aaron knew they shouldn't. He knew they should stop. He had always known these things.

He also knew he had no strength left to deny JJ. Or himself.

Right then he was sure of everything, later he wouldn't be. Right then there was nothing else to do but take her in his arms, later he would allow rationality to kick in. Right then he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt he loved her, later he'd play down that love, calling it nothing but platonic. It was a vicious cycle, unfair to both of them.

He desperately needed to gain control, he knew, but something primal and wild inside him held his logic captive.

He had no idea how a car wreck could change him so much.

_How she could change him so much._

His private, silent admission to himself only fueled their frantic kiss. He pressed his lips hard against JJ's mouth to make sure she understood his need for her.

They were in a heated frenzy, wanting to grab every inch of each other. JJ rocked her hips against him and he groaned into her mouth at the sensation. Her skirt had ridden up and he could feel himself growing harder by the second. When she rocked against him for the second time he almost lost his control.

He squeezed her waist, silently telling her to stop moving. He firmly held her in place as he took a breath and released her lips from his. JJ's eyes opened at their loss of contact and her hazy blues tore into Hotch. The desire in her face made his pants feel even tighter. The sensation made JJ whisper out his name.

"Aaron."

_This woman was going to be the end of him._

He yearned for her, and she him. Hotch barely resisted pulling her hips further down against him. Her lips were swollen and her cheeks were flushed. The fire in her eyes turned them to a midnight blue, coated with desire. The sight made his heart beat faster; she was the epitome of beautiful.

He closed his eyes and sighed. He needed to slow things down or else they wouldn't be able to stop. Her emotions were all over the place and unpredictable, he knew, and he refused to take things any further in her vulnerable state. Sexy, fiery eyes or not, Aaron was sure JJ wasn't thinking straight, especially after the scene he'd walked in on earlier.

He unwrapped her legs from around him and adjusted her backwards, moving her closer to his knees. She looked at him in confusion and before he could explain himself she shrunk away, embarrassed. She removed her arms from around his neck and clumsily began to scoot off his lap.

Before she could stand, Aaron grabbed her elbow. "JJ," he softly said. "Let's slow down. We should," he audibly swallowed. "We need to take it easy," he explained to her.

She looked at him with uncertainty and he didn't blame her. After all the times he had pushed her away his track record wasn't the greatest.

"I'm fine!" she countered. He noticed that the fire in her eyes didn't diminish when she sneered at him, it simply amplified.

Hotch supported her back and stood both of them up. He tried to give her a small smile but his mind was going into overdrive. Now that they weren't tangled up in each other and enthralled with their heated passion, Hotch's thoughts were racing. He was already thinking about all complications their situation could cause.

_Here we go again._

He rested one hand on his hip and rubbed his temple with the other. Hotch couldn't let himself any more mistakes, but he was still unsure. Of everything. He felt JJ watching him and glanced downwards at her face. He was surprised at how much shorter she was when she wasn't wearing her heels.

She was biting her lip, a clear indicator that she was nervous, and he knew his silence caused it.

When he brought his eyes to hers, she immediately looked away. JJ was looking everywhere but at him. "JJ, look at me."

When she didn't respond to him he became worried. Physical trauma or not, whenever she phased out like that, it was never a good sign. He stepped closer to her but didn't reach out.

"JJ, look at me," he repeated.

/XXX/

JJ's lips parted with a gasp when she saw the expression on Hotch's face. The emotions emitting from his eyes were identical to those she witnessed in the wrecked SUV. The same ones she woke to in the hospital with him at her bedside.

"Aaron?" she whispered. But she quickly realized it was the wrong thing to say.

He looked unsure, again, and stepped away from her. He turned his back to JJ and took an audible breath. He placed his hands on his hips and looked at his door. JJ wondered if he was thinking about leaving and never looking back at her. She wondered if he was going to run.

_If he was going to abandon her, again._

"Don't go," she cried. "You can't go," she said, significantly quieter. Her voice was fearful and uncertain. She hated it.

He released a breath and slowly turned around. He stood still, staring at the woman before him.

For a moment, all JJ could bear to focus on was the sound of the rain outside.

"JJ—"

"Please, don't," she begged, but she could see that he intended to say everything.

"I've tried hard, JJ. I tried to follow the rules this time, to adhere by everything I stand for," he began. JJ could her frustration rising in his voice as he began to pace.

"But you, you pull something out of me. I can't function knowing you're upset with me. Or when you are hurting." He stopped but JJ just stood there and waited. Hotch raised his hands and shrugged. "I can't be SSA Hotchner around you. Not anymore." His arms dropped to his sides and clenched his hands into fists. "And that makes me angry," he said in a louder voice. "Angry, JJ! And I almost resent you for it!" he admitted, loudly talking over the rain that began to downpour outside.

Then he stalked up to her and stopped. "Do you want me to resent you, JJ?"

She stood rooted on the spot, absolutely horrified that Hotch was capable of even thinking that way. "Of course not," she stuttered out. She backed away from him, unable to say anything more.

Before she could get far, however, Hotch pulled her back to him. He stared into her eyes and JJ had no choice but to let him see her fresh tears that threatened to overflow. He looked serious, intense; in pure SSA Hotchner fashion.

"Because normally I would. I should." He backed down and looked conflicted. His eyes began to soften and he lifted her chin with his finger.

"But I find…" he let his sentence drift. "I find that none of that matters. None of it matters because you matter more to me than any of it."

JJ gasped at his confession but he didn't stop talking. "I tried JJ, I really did, but I can't be the man I was just over a month ago." Hotch stopped and grabbed her wrists. "And I can't resent you for that because it is all my doing, I know."

Slowly a pained expression appeared on his face which JJ wanted to take away in an instant, but Hotch beat her to it. He cleared his throat and pursed his lips, immediately putting up a sans emotion front. JJ knew he was silently berating himself for showing her his inner struggle. The control Hotch portrayed while he unraveled before her amazed JJ. She stood astounded at the devotion to stoicism the man before her held. There may have been glimpses of emotion from him, but his desperate need to regain a monotone, supposedly indifferent, voice was evident. She shook her head. How anyone could handle the kind of pressure Hotch placed on himself she'd never know.

"Hotch—" JJ started, only to be cut off.

"I'm flailing here, JJ. Without any direction because I'm so far from the man I've always been able to be. When I'm around you, everything is off kilter inside me. Hotch goes and Aaron takes over. And I can't reverse it because deep in my heart I don't want to." He finished his admission in his most matter-of-fact, Reid-like voice possible.

_He'd rambled like Reid, after all._

JJ couldn't do anything but stare at him with big eyes. Aaron's confession had knocked the wind out of her.

/XXX/

He felt exposed. He had said much more then he'd planned but when he began to admit one thing, other things simply tumbled out. And for the first time during his career as a profiler he found he couldn't read the person in front of him.

He pulled her into a hug in order to avoid her gaze without appearing to be brushing her off. Slowly he felt her arms wrap around him and sighed in relief.

_At least he hadn't scared her off._

"I'm not going to push you away this time," he mumbled into her hair. "I swear it."

She pulled back from him. "How do I know that's true?"

He sighed and looked at the floor. "Because."

"Because?" JJ said at his vague response.

_He was going to have to do better than that._

He wrapped his fingers around the back of her head and pulled her in for a deep, languid kiss. It was gentle and genuine and made him feel like things were just…right. He found solace in the kiss and knew that he'd be happy standing there, locking her lips with his, forever.

**To be continued…**


End file.
